November 08th, 2022

It's funny, I've just turned 51 and as my children point out, I'm not middle aged any more, unless I live to 102! Which would mean I would have to work for another 50 years to sustain my lifestyle.... no thank you very much.
Don't get me wrong, I have a lust for life. I live it to the fullest of my capabilities. I take risks, I regularly live outside my comfort zone and I continually challenge myself but I don't want to be working for another half a century.
At the moment many of us of faces challenges beyond out control - mortgage hikes, ultilty and food price rises and it's easy for anxiety levels to rise. For me personally, I've recently had additional stress of the ex-husband slandering me on social media for having the nerve to leave him and move abroad to set up a business.
It's not the first time I've been trolled but you don't expect it from the person you're financially supporting. But I I have learnt that negative people who wallow in their own bitterness  feel the need to project their own failings onto others through unkind words.
His words have stung me, not because I harbour any feelings towards him, but because he still shows such a lack of respect for the mother of his children, the women he was married to for 20 years and rarely worked, who I single handedly financially support.
I made the choice to move out of the family home and move abroad because the marriage had disintegrated. I left with my children's blessing and encouragement, they saw how unhappy I was and they also didn't want to be in the centre of a toxic environment with their parents fighting. I left because if he went, he wouldn't have stayed in contact with his kids, through his own laziness. I grew up without a father and didn't want my children to experience the same. No one except a mother understands the sacrifices we make for what we hope is in  the best interests of our children.
I spend every moment I can with my children and I hope they understand why I don't live with them. It ties me up in knots everyday, I miss them even though I speak to them everyday and I hope they really do understand why I left.
Life is full of incredibly hard decisions we have to make and if you're a good person, you hope they're in the best interests of your loved ones.
I hope I have taught them not to settle in life when you're unhappy.
I hope I have taught them that opportunities are everywhere and you can achieve anything you want with hard work, focus and determination.
I hope I have taught them to be independent and confident as they hop on and off planes like buses and travel around the world
I hope I have taught them to put their happiness first before others. You can't pour from an empty cup.
I hope I have taught them not to give the best years of your life to someone who doesn't appreciate you.