January 04th, 2024

I am loud, I am brash, I am confident and I am an attention seeker. But one thing I am not is ADHD. I am also not depressed even though I have days when I want to shut myself off from the world and sit on my sofa and not talk to anyone. I spend my days talking to people non stop, I live a busy life with lots of kids and I am constantly surrounded by questions and expectations and sometimes I just want to tell everyone to fuck off.
I am menopausal, however and moody with it, yet when I mention this, some people groan with boredom. Apparently this is unacceptable but throwing around labels of other genuine conditions isn’t.
I am so sick of people telling me what I am. Are you all medically or psychologically trained?
Just because I procrastinate doesn’t make me ADHD. I am super punctual to meetings, I do not fidget and I am highly organised in business.
But I am in the midst of menopause, enjoying the hot flushes and brain fog which gives me poor concentration, not to mention insomnia which fuels my bad moods. The other day I left my house with my front door wide open. But this is not acceptable, instead I am labelled as crazy and this infuriates me.
Did you know that over 20% of females leave their jobs because of women related issues? Can I even say females anymore without offending someone? We continually face discrimination in the workplace. I was made redundant for being pregnant yet my role was replaced by a man within six months. One woman received £37,000 from her work after taking her male boss to a tribunal who told her she used the menopause as an excuse for everything.
I constantly forget where I put things down. My ex husband rolled his eyes and made a dismissive comment when I couldn’t find my car keys the other week and I told him I had menopausal brain.
Women have a hard enough time. At every stage of our life we’re judged for everything we say and do which according to some men makes us “intolerable”. In school, girls cannot show their shoulders or have their skirts too short for being deemed provocative. Choosing to get married, choosing the number of children to have, or choosing to remain childless makes us selfish. Posting bikini selfies are deemed inappropriate which is hilarious when I spend six months on the beach. Wearing tops that expose our cleavage are seen as an invitation to make inappropriate comments when the reality is we have no control over the size of our breasts. We’re judged on our gym workouts, apparently having muscles isn’t feminine, we’re judged on our sexual activity and our looks. Why do I have false eyelashes and facial aesthetics? Because I fucking want to, that’s why.
Why do I post what I post on social media? Because it’s my page and I will do what I fucking want on it.
Why do I want to build muscle? Because it's a flex ok? I am not doing it for anyone's approval but my own.
I don’t see my menopausal symptoms as a weakness, it’s just another shitstorm that I have to ride. I sometimes am filled with self doubt but that doesn’t stop me going after my goals and chasing my dreams. I put off the jobs I hate (mostly housework) in favour of the tasks I love.
Labels limit yourself. Call me strong, call me a badass but don’t give me a medical condition that devalues people who actually have it and is debilitating for them. It’s becoming trendy to throw around these terms but if we’re honest, I’ve always been fashionable but this is one label I refuse to wear.

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