NEW YEAR NEW BLOG December 2023:
2023 was my annus horribilus but 2024 is going to be my annus fuckingfabulous.
I say this because I too am a queen and my crown has been rather crooked of late. Now it’s as straight as my sexual preferences. This year has shaped me more than any over recent years and I feel stronger, more powerful and assertive. I hold no grudges or resentment over events that I couldn't control and people that disappeared from my life. Excruciatingly painful and disappointing as it was at the time, I now know that some people are not meant to be in your life forever and I thank them for the experience because otherwise my mindset would not be as focused and strong as it is right now.
Normally I don’t give a shit about New Year’s Eve. It’s just another night with no real significance. But this year I feel an immense change around me. For starters, I decided I won't be spending my traditional NYE crying in my bedroom at my annual self pity party for one. I have done this for too many years. No, this year I shall be partying in Ayia Napa, in my favourite place with my best friends, my favourite people who make me feel good and accept me as I am. I have found my tribe. Cyprus is my spiritual home and as my son acknowledged yesterday, I thrive in the sunshine.
For far too long I have been a people pleaser, putting everyone’s needs and happiness before my own but I am not doing it anymore. I am over middle aged and my time on this planet is running out so I am going to make it count even more. Call me selfish, I genuinely don’t give a fuck what you think.
Of course my children always come first but they’re shaping up to be incredible humans. As a mother, my role is to provide them with infinite love and security, teach them independence and give them an endless supply of self-confidence so they can make their own decisions and function in this brave world. So far, so good. But mum deserves a life of happiness too.
It’s my time now.
January is toning up as fast as my glutes, which I may add, are banging, thanks to a new addiction to spin classes. I have exciting new business projects and my finances are looking healthier. I am fitter, having qualified as a Bodypump instructor and I have lots of new projects to work on; The Manchester Lifestyle Awards and a new part-time role with a charity in which I am organising a spring fundraising ball for them. I have a new silent business partner on Lifestyle magazine and I am scaling it to become global, a vision I have had for many years that will hopefully provide us both with a passive income which will free me up to spend more time on the beach and on things I love. People are trusting me with their autobiographies to write too, which is another passion as I can work from anywhere on this.
I don’t know if it is my age, or because of all the emotional trauma I have experienced over the years that I have finally said enough is enough. Really am at the “no fucks given” stage of my life. I have been to a lot of networking events over the past couple of months and I hear myself talking to new people. Once upon a time I would have been giving the hard sell of why people would benefit working with me and my vast experience in my field. Now I honestly don’t care if you decide to or not. I’m more than great at what I do so take me or leave me. I have recently told people I have worked with who have messed me around, withheld paying invoices ridiculously late and organised meetings with me and then kept me waiting for a disrespectful amount of time to actually fuck off. I don’t want to work with these people.
I told the employers of the company that I have been hired for part time, that I will only work remotely and that my life is split between Cyprus and Liverpool. I went into the office twice and got up and left by 3pm as sitting at a desk for 8 hours is not productive to my creativity or health. If they don’t like it, I’ll leave. I have set my prices for my work and I am not haggling anymore to secure a deal. This is my rate, this is what I am worth. Don’t like it? Step aside and make room for the people that value me. I am working on my terms.
I have cut ties with toxic people, people who made me question my self worth, and people who bored me. Adios motherfuckers.
I was holding out for a hero to come and save me for far too long but I now realise that I am my own heroine and my happiness is mine to create.
Goodbye 2023. I am going into the new year with no expectations so I shall not be disappointed. However, cliche as it may sound, the new year really is bringing in a new me.
Happy new year!
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