July 01st, 2025

 SEX SWINGS AND DICKHEADS.
I have a love-hate relationship with social media. It’s like that friend who’s hilarious and always down for a good time but also wildly inappropriate at the worst moments. On the good days, I love it. I get to see what my friends are up to, discover new music, share memes, and pretend I’m going to do all those workouts to tone my abs. On the bad days? I seriously question why I’m still here.
Social media is essential for my business. It’s how I network, promote and stay visible. It’s also the easiest way to stay connected with my kids and keep up with their lives where ever they are. So quitting isn’t exactly an option but some days I wish it were.
Take this weekend, for example.
I don’t usually entertain men in my DMs. I’ve learned my lesson with too many weird encounters and far too many unsolicited comments. But I was a week into having my apartment all to myself, which rarely happens at this time of year. No plans, no distractions, just me and a lot of silence which I was enjoying. But when a really attractive guy slid into my DMs one evening, I figured, ok. Let’s chat.
He led with the classic “Hey, beautiful” line, which honestly should have been my first red flag. Let’s be clear. “Hey, beautiful” isn’t a compliment. It’s generic, impersonal, and tells me nothing about why you’re actually messaging me other than you saw a photo and thought you’d try your luck. Thanks, but I own a mirror. I don’t need that kind of surface-level validation . Still, I was bored so I responded.
At first, it was surface level stuff. Basic chitchat. He was Russian, allegedly working for the EU in Cyprus, divorced with a teenage son. So far so good. Money and good looks. But it escalated very quickly. And by escalated, I mean within minutes, this man sent me a picture of his sex swing and asking me if I liked it.
I hadn't hint or drop any cues that I wanted that kind of conversation. And yet, there it was, swinging into my DMs like we were in the middle of some steamy saga I never signed up for. No context. No respect. Just straight-up digital creep behavior.
Why do they do this?
What is it about social media that makes some men feel so entitled to other people’s time, attention, and bodies? There was no warmth, no effort, just a blatant display of objectification. It’s like being catcalled, but worse because it happens in the space that’s supposed to feel like yours.
I didn’t reply. Didn’t educate. Didn’t scold. I just blocked him. Because at this point, I’m not in the business of fixing grown men who think sending sex furniture is a flirty opener.
Anyone who knows me knows I am definitely not a prude and I wasn't shocked and there are things I would happily do with a partner I am sharing intimacy with. It takes more than a few leather straps to rattle me
But this is the double-edged sword of social media. I need it. I rely on it. But it also makes me feel exhausted, exposed, and, sometimes, completely done with the idea of putting myself out there.
Men don’t make any effort to see the real person anymore.
It’s like they’re skipping the connection, the curiosity, the actual getting to know someone and going straight to the fantasy. Straight to the objectification. Like we’re just profiles to conquer.
This kind of behaviour isn’t isolated, every one of my friends will share a similar story It’s part of something bigger and more disturbing.
There’s a whole undercurrent of misogyny online, and it’s growing louder. Incel culture, red pill ideology, and male-driven echo chambers are feeding this belief that women exist to be dominated, used, or put in their place. It’s not just ignorance, it’s hostility. And social media gives it a megaphone with no accountability for their behaviour.
And so, here I am. This is why I’m single and this why I don’t do dating apps.
And this is why I’ll probably live out the rest of my years choosing celibacy and cats.
And honestly? I'm fine with that.

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