February 23rd, 2026

DON'T MAKE IT PERSONAL
There comes a point in life where things are moving but not yet settled. Invoices have been sent but not paid. The house sale is progressing but buying a replacement is up in the air as I can't find anything suitable. I’m constantly scanning emails and mentally making calculations on timelines and finances. For the first time in ages, I honestly have no idea what the future holds or where I will land my next family home.
I am functioning daily, producing work and showing up, but mentally I’m exhausted. I am temporarily suspended emotionally and everything is starting to feel personal. A flippant comment from my brother sent me spiralling all weekend. A criticism online that I usually brush off wobbled my confidence.
When plans are not concrete, my mind starts searching for fault and the easiest place to direct it is inward and I am the queen of taking everything personally.
I have to remind myself that waiting for invoices to be paid does not mean I am undervalued. Waiting for a property sale to complete does not mean my life is unstable. I am fortunate to be on the property ladder. Not yet knowing my next address doesn’t mean I am lost. It means I am in transition and there is a vast difference.
In life there will always be a period where the old door hasn’t fully closed and the new one hasn’t fully opened and that space in between can feel exposed and vulnerable. Especially when you are used to being in control.
Growth rarely looks neat and tidy and things unfold in their own time. Of course the composed response is not panic. Tell that to my brain please, which likes to catastrophise everything.
The mind loves certainty. It wants dates, guarantees, assurances but strength is learning to operate confidently even when those details are still forming.
Impatience is my red flag, I can’t stand not being in control but I am reminding myself that this year is a year of repostioning.
Selling a home is not instability, it is leverage. Sending reminder invoices is not desperation, it is evidence of a business in operation with deadlines to meet. Not knowing exactly where I’ll live next is not chaos, it is the opening of choice. And choice is freedom and power. My identity is not tied to a postcode
However this uncertainty is escalating my inner panic so while I may look calm on the surface, inside I am juggling flaming chainsaws whilst blindfolded and riding a unicycle.
Mid-transition is not weakness, even though I feel fragile. It is positioning me for the next chapter where I will be mortgage free. I have to keep telling myself this will all be worth it. This space, uncertain as it feels, is actually rich with possibility. I am becoming. And when everything settles as it always does, I’ll see that this in-between season wasn’t something to survive, but something that quietly strengthened me for what’s next. And who knows what or where that will be.
In the meantime though, go easy on me.

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