December 26th, 2025

​NEW BLOG: I Owe Nobody Anything.
As the year closes, there’s a familiar pressure to reflect and forgive and to wish everyone well. To be gracious at all costs.
But as this year draws to a close I’m not carrying everyone into 2026.
This doesn’t come from bitterness. Quite the opposite, it comes from peace.
For all of my life, I’ve been polite to a fault. I always smile, say hello. I always absorb awkwardness so no one else had to. I mistook that for kindness for years.
Last week something shifted. When I returned to Liverpool I was in town Christmas shopping and I saw someone I used to be close friends with. Someone I helped in business, someone I supported emotionally during her turbulent times. This friendship ended years ago, not through anything I did, but through circumstances, loyalties, and a life that no longer exists after our husbands had a disagreement. In the past, I have smiled at her and said hello in the supermarket aisle. Performed civility out of habit.
This time, I didn’t.
I looked straight through her and carried on with my day. And I felt great.
That moment told me everything I needed to know about where I am now. I simply didn’t register her as someone I needed to carry forward.
That’s what healing actually looks like - not dramatic, just an absence of obligation.
As we get older we realise how many relationships were situational. Built around marriages, proximity, shared routines, or versions of ourselves we’ve outgrown. When those structures fall away, so do some people.
And that’s not failure, it’s honesty.
We are not required to drag old dynamics into new chapters just to prove we’re nice. Politeness should never come at the expense of peace. Growth doesn’t always look friendly. Sometimes it looks like quiet non-engagement.
So as 2026 approaches, I’m being intentional.
I’m carrying forward the people who showed up when things were uncomfortable and the ones who respected my boundaries.
I am not required to shrink or explain.
I can proudly count my close friends on one hand now. These are my confidants, my friends who don’t require conditions.
I am not meeting people for coffee who want to be part time friends.
Sometimes the most powerful end-of-year ritual isn’t gratitude, it’s discernment.
It’s a healthy place to be at. Calm, clear and not fake AF.

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