 DREAM GIRL ERA
It’s approaching the time of year when we overindulge in tasty treats and let’s face it, why shouldn’t we? It’s cold and miserable outside and it makes us feel a bit better. And a little bit of something naughty can make you feel nice. But then comes the guilt and ridiculous self-loathing with the gyms bombarding everyone to join them for the “new year, new you” monotonous trend. I am so sick of the body shaming piled on us to look a certain way. Some of us are not built to be skinny. I have big boobs and a big bum, and not only do I accept it, but I embrace it now, in case you haven’t noticed my multiple bikini selfies. And why the hell not? I listened to a podcast on my regular 10k walk this morning and it was all about stepping into your Dream Girl Era. It was about loving and accepting yourself and not changing yourself to fit into society’s expectations of how you are supposed to be. So what is the Dream Girl Era? It’s visualising who you want to be as a woman so that you can become the best version of yourself. It’s about talking to yourself in a kind way and instead of pointing out your physical faults, you start talking to yourself kindly. It’s ok to tell yourself you look good, it ok to have a little aesthetics enhancement if it makes you feel better about yourself. It’s your body and you can do what you want with it. We are all unique and that makes us interesting and wonderful and it’s time to embrace what makes you, well, YOU. Entering the Dream Girl Era means you are ready to step up to become the person you’ve always aspired to be. You don’t need money. You don’t need a flash gym membership, you just need your imagination to visualise who you want to be. My friend has started seeing this guy and she’s developed anxiety wondering when he is going to message her next. “What if he’s changed his mind about me? What if he didn’t like seeing me naked” she said? I told her to stop trashing herself and reminded her that she was an absolute badass who should take control of the situation. Message him, you’re not 15 and if he doesn’t respond then move on. You’re not hanging around for anyone’s approval I told her. And I reminded her that have yet to meet a man who doesn’t adore seeing a naked woman in front of him. Stepping into your Dream Girl Era means you shed all the insecurities and embrace who you are. You look at everything you’ve achieved rather focusing on the failures . Everyone fails at something, it’s life and without failure we don’t learn lessons to be better people in our business and relationships. But the relationship with yourself is the most important one and longest one you will ever have so make it worthwhile. We are not here to make others happy. We are not here to please others, we are not here to put our wants and needs behind everyone’s elses. What are the safety instructions on a flight? Put your own mask on first before you help others. And that’s the simple rule in life. You have all the tools to become the best version of yourself and it starts with being accountable for yourself. I am on my way to being a Dream Girl. I have non-negotiable terms to my day, For example, I will not attend a meeting before 11am because I have to go to my daily spin class at 9.30am. It sets me up mentally and physically for the day. I love who I have become. Of course I have fears, I am not invincible, but I have this confidence that I never used to have, that has come from stepping into my power. I know what I want and I am going out to get it. We’re often told that we should rebrand our business to create an authentic and meaningful connection with our clients but we need to do the same with ourselves. Humans are not supposed to be static, we are programmed to move and grow. A change in direction can motivate and inspire you to do things you never dreamed of. It may be as simple as slipping into an outfit you told yourself you wouldn’t normally be seen dead in.Wear the sequin jacket to the supermarket and let them stare. We are not here for long on earth so live your best life with gusto and close down the chatter from people who don’t approve of your choices. They aren’t living your life and their opinion doesn’t matter. Be the Dream Girl you were born to be.
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 HATERS GONNA HATE
It’s an old topic that keeps resurfacing but I felt like addressing it again as the season of goodwill is almost upon us. A few people have forgotten their mindfulness and be kind culture and still feel the need to be a keyboard warrior. What drives these people to write such hate? Fuelled by their own inadequecies or just simply do they have a toxic personality? It’s not just aimed at me, I have seen several posts across social media from others experiencing the same. Just what is wrong with people? So I posted on LinkedIn the other day and received a comment that I am only in business “to fuel my lifestyle in Cyprus and Liverpool.” It made me laugh. Stop the press. A business owner is operating to make a profit because the last time I checked, my bills couldn’t be paid by hearts and likes. And of course I am in business to make money, aren’t we all? To be fair, I haven’t raised my advertising prices since Covid and we won’t mention the numerous people I have mentored in their career journey, but that’s another story entirely. I am baffled by how people cruelly target others to try and destroy their confidence, or maybe it is as simple as wanting to get attention, hoping for a comment in retaliation. I won’t rise to it. The way I see it is that a negative comment is reflective of their behaviour, not mine. Trolls are there to create distrust but please, keep talking about me. You’re raising my profile. The first time I was trolled was when I was 19 years old and a reporter on a local paper. I published an article, which had to go through a news editor and editor before it was published. The subject of the feature didn’t like it and went on a personal campaign to try and destroy my reputation and I thought it was the end of my career. My newspaper colleagues, however, were ecstatic because people in the community were talking about the newspaper and my editor gave me the best advice which I have carried through my career. “If there’s one thing worse than being talked about, it’s not being talked about.” And so I have carried my #bememorable with me ever since. I have lost count of the number of times I have been trolled so viscously, once to the point that I had to launch a defamation lawsuit. In every case, I can say that the people in question have gone out of business. And I am still standing. Because people do business with people and if you’re filled with nastiness, others will see it eventually and who wants to work with someone so hateful? I had to take my babies to meetings and always checked that the people in question weren’t bothered by it. And on one occasion I returned to find myself slagged off by a woman for being unprofessional for bringing my baby to work. I have always kept my head down and focused on myself and the people who I work with. We’re in it to elevate each other’s businesses and success, I surround myself with like-minded people with the same ambitious mindset. By ignoring the haters, you are denying them the attention they crave. Trolls often thrive on getting a reaction, and responding to them can escalate the situation. It's vital to remember that you can't reason with someone whose primary goal is to provoke. My advice to anyone on the receiving end of being trolled is to congratulate yourself on being a success, you’re obviously doing something right that has attracted the attention from someone who isn’t doing as well as you. Successful people don’t have time to focus on negative people, they’re too busy building their own empires. Do not let them throw you off your gameplan, stay focused on your work and your clients. Remember that rumours are started by haters and spread by fools. Let them talk. If they haven’t already heard of you, they may google you and that is going to boost your ranking. There's thousands of businesses out there, thousands of potential new clients waiting to benefit from your products and services. So quietly thank them for their interest in you. Do not question your abilities or let them wobble your confidence. The block button is there for a reason. Press it and press on with creating the fabulous lifestyle you deserve. |
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