February 24th, 2025

 WHY I DON’T CHARGE MY KIDS TO LIVE AT HOME
As parents, we strive to make decisions that we believe are in the best interest of our children, even as they become adults. One of the best decisions I've made is not charging my adult kids rent while they live at home. This choice is based on a variety of personal beliefs and family values that have guided me through parenthood. In essence, I wanted to be the mum my mother wasn’t and through her shortcomings I have learned to be so much better than her.
When I was 18 I landed my dream job of a trainee reporter on a local newspaper My take-home pay was £650 and she demanded £300 in rent from me, almost half my salary. Filled with resentment I moved into a bedsit. I would rather pay a stranger than her and avoid the weekly fights she would start or threats of being thrown out anyway. Not having enough money to live on, I turned to credit cards, on her  advice, to live on and this started a lifelong toxic relationship with money.
And so one of the biggest reasons I don’t charge my kids rent is that I want them to be able to save money and set themselves up for a successful future. They’re already supporting themselves through university and racking up huge student loans so why would I want to create additional burden for them?  By allowing them to live at home rent-free, they can focus on building their financial independence without the added pressure of high living expenses. Plus it’s their family home, the home they have been brought up in for 20 years. They didn’t ask to be born and their home is always going to be their safe space free from responsibilities. It’s their refuge from all the shittiness that life throws at them and they can relax knowing they always have that family support from me. There’s enough adulting to be done  once they close the front door behind them and charging them rent would take away that sense of freedom. They have a life time ahead of them of paying bills so if I can delay that for them, then I will.
By not charging them rent, they don’t have the pressure to move out. If I had my way they would live at home forever. Nothing makes me happier than seeing them around the kitchen table sharing stories of their day, cooking endless meals and laughing over instagram posts. Charging them rent might push them to rush into decisions they’re not ready for. I believe it’s more important for them to take their time and figure out what truly makes them happy.
Also when my kids are not focused on paying rent, I believe we build stronger bonds with each other. It allows us to spend quality time together, share experiences, and be a part of each other's lives in a way that’s hard to do when there’s a financial transaction involved. It helps us focus on creating memories, not just managing bills. I didn’t raise kids for them to pay me back.
Some argue that charging rent teaches them financial responsibility, but I believe that responsibility goes beyond just paying bills.Regardless, my kids have way more savings than me and are much more sensible with their money.  I keep telling them not to make the mistakes I made and similar to their attitude towards studying and a keen work ethic, they have natural self-discipline and the confidence to face life’s challenges. I don’t want to them to go out wit limited resources if they’re skint. I want them to be able to jump into a taxi and get home safely without worrying about the cost. They also contribute to family life naturally, by buying their own food if they don't like what’s in the fridge and they pay for their own clothes and holidays. It amuses me that I get a text asking them to buy toothpaste or shower gel for their bathroom, simple things they can afford to take for granted.
Every family is different, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting and I am not going to judge anyone who doesn’t parent like I do. But for me, not charging my adult kids rent is a choice that reflects my values of support, family, and long-term investment in their success. I believe that without the unnecessary financial pressure they exhume confidence and are inspired to take risks. They’re not falling into unhealthy relationships where they’re dependent on their partners to support them financially. My eldest daughter worked for a year and saved her entire salary and is now spending a year globetrotting with her sister.This would not be possible if I took rent from them. As always I encourage them to create the life they love. Money creates freedom and with freedom they can make better life choices and build the future they want for themselves. Plus they’ll have more money to pay for my luxury retirement village in Florida.

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